Mama’s arsenal:

Mama’s arsenal:

August 7, 2017 | Throwback

Mama’s arsenal: which pamalo delivers the most damage?

All of us, at some point in our lives, have developed a trauma for the walis tambo or the lone black hanger hanging quietly at the corner or the room. Some even had worse encounters with the more painful black leather belts our fathers used to don. All these because of a bloody red 74% mark on a test paper or a missing 20-peso bill from kuya’s Levi’s.

Since we like to look at the past (a lot, if you didn’t notice), we made a chart of the most painful pamalos.

1. Weapon name: Dyaryo
Description: For teaching table manners. ‘Pag nalimutan mong mag-hugas ng kamay before breakfast, or you didn’t use the serving spoon, what will hit your hands next is yesterday’s news. May kasama pang masamang tingin from tatay na medyo naka side view pa, sabay kamot sa tiyan.
Damage: 2/10

2. Weapon name: Pamaypay
Description: Silences talkative children during a mass. Since she can’t threaten you verbally inside a church, a quick slap with a wooden fan and pressed lips will be her way of saying “humanda ka, mamaya ka sakin sa bahay”.
Damage: 5/10

3. Weapon name: Tsinelas (Rambo slippers)

Description: This is where it gets serious. Remember when you weren’t allowed to go outside because you didn’t sleep or didn’t eat your veggies? The next probable scenario would be you running from the house barefoot under the 3 P.M. sun while your mother is stressing every syllable of your name, pointing your left slipper on you.
Damage: 6/10

4. Weapon name: Black Plastic Hanger
Description: Stings. Leaves a mark. What you get when you acted slightly inappropriately in front of your Titas.
Damage: 8/10

5. Weapon name: Baguio Walis Tambo
Description: Used during more “serious” situations like that time when you got home way past the 5 P.M. curfew, or when you broke your father’s new rifle in two.
Damage: 10/10

6. Weapon name: Black Leather Belt

Description: When Mama reaches for this, you’ll know you did something really, really bad. And you’ll wish you reviewed for that Math exam or finished that Science project a little bit earlier to prevent that red mark.
Damage: 11/10

Which one do you remember the most? Tell us about your throwback stories at facebook.com/KuyaJResto.

Filipino street games that made your childhood fun and active

Filipino street games that made your childhood fun and active

August 1, 2017 | Throwback

Anyone else who think today’s childhood past times are boring? When I was my little sister’s age, I was running up and down the streets shouting “langit!” or “taya!”. Makapag-uwi lang ako ng isang dangkal na teks, masaya na ko! She, on the other hand, strives for higher numbers in a mobile game. Not fun! And also not healthy.

With that, I say it’s time to teach the little ones how to really have fun! Here’s a list of the street games that made our childhood days fun and active.

1. Patintero
– Ang larong lamang ang mahahaba ang galamay. ‘Pag walang chalk, hollow block debris can be used to draw the lines.
2. Luksong baka
– The goal is to jump over a crouched person pretending to be the “baka”. It gets harder as the “baka” becomes taller after every successful jump.
3. Tumbang preso
– One of the most famous Filipino street games. All you need is an empty tin can and players and their slippers. It’s challenging because it requires some level of dexterity.
4. Langit-lupa
– It’s like the “the floor is lava” game, but it involves chasing and tagging. Thanks to this game, Quiapo pickpockets can never outrun me.
5. Piko
– The Filipino version of Hopscotch, plus a book’s worth of new rules. Pinoys added rules and “levels” to it just to prolong the game. Creative!
6. Turumpo
– If you think “beyblades” are cool, wait until you see a game of turumpo. Here, no one goes home with their tops spinning in one piece.
7. Sipa
– This game shows the Filipinos’ resourcefulness when it comes to spending their free time. What we need here is a shuttlecock-like thing called the “sipa”, which is made of a washer and colorful strips of plastic or cloth.
8. Teks
– “Teks” are small cards with fancy images of anything popular during the 90s. Here, everyone is equal because it involves a bit of gambling. All you need is luck.
9. Tatsing
– I guess this is where some people got their knack for collecting things. I could fill a shoebox with these fancy rubber figures when I was in 3rd grade! Some were even covered with wires for a stronger push and a fancier look.
10. Taguan
– The local version of hide-and-seek but with an LSS-inducing chant: “tagu-taguan maliwanag ang buwan”. Sing it!

Now that it’s rainy and the afternoon weather is a bit more tolerable, I think I might go out and play with my childhood friends. A bunch of mid-20s playing langit-lupa? Crazy, but it’ll be fun.

Share your awesome childhood stories with us at facebook.com/KuyaJResto!

Old School Baon

Old School Baon

July 14, 2017 | Throwback

Summer is out. School is in. Happy na ang mga bagets dahil sa wakas, may baon na rin. In other words, makakatikim na naman sila ng limpak-limpak na allowance. Yehey! Pero you know what, back in my old school days, baon is equals to carrying my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunch box. At ang laman? Well, let me give you a list of my go-to baons (in no particular order).

1. Hotdog with Rice a.k.a. The Godfather of all Baons

Nothing beats the feeling of opening your Tupperware with two pieces of Tender Juicy hotdogs and red-colored, cold rice waiting for you. Ahhhh, those were the days.

2. Zest-O Orange Juice a.k.a. The OG of OJs

Whether you’re the type who makes tusok-tusok the straw on top with precision, or you’re like everyone else who’s not that anal to things, you just flip your Zest-O over and pinch it no look style, this juice drink has quenched my thirst more than our flavorless buddy, tubig.

3. Jelly Ace a.k.a. The Higop-higop

Before Oreo’s Twist, Lick, Dunk, there was Jelly Ace’s Peel, Lick, Higop. Well, that’s how I usually eat it. Kahit anong flavor pa yan—green, red, violet, or orange. ‘Lam na!

4. Iced Gem Biscuits a.k.a. The Icing Snack

Admittedly, there was a day that I didn’t eat the biscuit at all. Icing lang because I’m that sweet. Bakit, hindi mo ba ginawa ‘yun? Sabihin mong hindi!

5. Yakult a.k.a. The OK sa Alright Drink

‘Ika nga ni Michael Jackson, “tummy are you ok, are you ok tummy?” Ok that was horrible. But kidding aside, if you drink one bottle (or in my case one pack) of this yummy probiotic drink, you’ll be alright for the rest of the day for sure.

6. Nissin Wafer a.k.a. The All-time Favorite

Paano kainin ang Nissin Wafer? If you ask me, one wafer per three seconds. Wala e, ganyan talaga ‘pag favorite. Biased na kung biased.

7. Milky Marie Biscuits a.k.a. The Pang-baby Biscuit

One, two, three, asawa ni Marie. Araw, gabi nasa pantry. Wholesome tayo e. Anyway, who could forget Marie and its milky biscuit? Para ko ng first love to e.

8. Fuji Apple a.k.a. The Epol Baon

Sabi nga nila, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Pero for me, an apple a day is seven apples a week na hindi ko man lang ginalaw. Mula sa pag pasok sa school hanggang sa paguwi nandun parin siya sa lunch box, together with its styro-like wrapper. It’s called epol for a reason, you know.

That’s it pancit! Sana sa pagpasok niyo sa school, baon niyo rin ang magagandang asal ha. Good luck and welcome back to the real world.