In the Philippines, we have our own cool stuff like our uniquely-shaped kampilans and bolos, Capiz-windowed houses, colorful tribe costumes, and even our own system of writing. But we’re also fond of making Filipino versions of things like the laughable Thor and Arrow rip-offs aired on a particular TV channel.
With that said, and since Christmas is just around the corner, why don’t we imagine the chubby, jolly, bearded, red-wearing, giving old man we all love as a fellow Pinoy? This is Santa Claus: Reimagined.
- If Santa Claus is Pinoy, he’ll probably ride a Jeepney or a Pedicab hauled by askals because the electric cables tangled from street to street will make his sick flying sleigh skills impossible to perform.
- He could be a judge in his day job because he likes judging kids with is “Naughty or Nice” list. Why does he need a day job, you ask? Aba, mahirap ang buhay sa ‘Pinas!
- Gifts will probably arrive late, Filipino time eh. This extended gift delivery period can be a good thing though, because it can even prolong the 4-month Filipino Christmas season.
- Brownie, the white asong kalye will take the place of Rudolph the main deer.
- Since hindi naman uso sa ‘Pinas ang chimneys, he’ll be forced to pay for an exclusive 1-month training to learn the ways of the akyat-bahays.
Plot twist: the reason why our Titos are nowhere to be found during Christmas is because they’re an undercover Santa! ‘Yan ha, ‘wag na mag-tampo because they’re preparing your gifts and checking it twice!